Hurrah - the life belt of flab that has been appearing steadily around my middle since Christmas is not entirely down to overeating. It is the menopause. The breast care nurse has confirmed that the chemotherapy has sprung me into it without a backward glance. That would also explain my sudden urge to get naked during the second act of The History Boys at the Wyndham, and may even go some way to explaining why, having been bald as a baby's butt for months, I now have a furry face. There is no justice. For everyone who looks on menopause as a great relief from the tyranny of the menstrual cycle - I am suprised to find that there is something deeply shocking about having all that taken away overnight.
A familiar marking of the passage of time that despite our complaints, provides a rythmn, a logic, a normality to our everyday lives that is comfortable and reassuring. I expect I will get over this feeling of being somehow cheated out of another 10 years of womanhood - or young womanhood - and will be only too grateful to have another 10 years of any life at all - but today it is another reminder that I am not the woman I once was.
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2 comments:
Mary - you will always be the woman that you were .... friendly, happy, loving and a great Mum and wife - always remember that. You might look 'furry' at the moment and not have the unfortunate inconvenience that some of us other women still have, but you are still you and you are bloody amazing - remember that!!! Muchly love! Joe xxx
Hi Mary, Your blog and posts are wonderful. I can read ahead with you to where I'll be soon. I'm very jealous of your hair whether it's on the top of your head or on your face as I'm still a glowing orb. And I'm also gaining a bit of weight lost during chemo and surg... hmmm... can I blame it on the treatment and not on the chocolate cravings? Thanks for finding me in the cold rainy US. I'll keep an eye on your blog and cross fingers that there'll still be snow in April so that you can make use of the new jacket and newfound energy. Enjoy the day! Beth
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