Wipe out

And it started so well....I'd felt pretty well for a good two or three days before chemo six and was on a high from the steroids and the idea it was the last one. Beccy whipped me into town for a little pre chemo John Lewis run (the two now inextricably linked) where I changed the red shedders (again) and opted for the boring beige I should have bought in the first place. Somehow I also ended up with a new duvet, new pillows and new covers which suddenly seemed as essential as breathing. An indication of my bed obsession and wanting to start the next phase of my life in clean sheets. Beccy followed me round cheerfully, as I then scooped up front opening pyjamas and a sports bra....on the recommendation of the helpful assistant when asked what she recommended for post surgery lingerie. 'Cosmetic or Cancer?', she asked and I was for once rather glad to reply 'cancer', the alternative striking me as horribly frivolous...

Chemo itself was as usual - perked up a bit this time by some serious chatting to fellow patients and a few volunteers which filled in the four and a half hour wait for drugs - and continued well when Tamsin came to pick me up and we had a very pleasant lunch in a Thai restaurant and a quick shop in Stoke Newington. It wasn't until Thursday afternoon that the whole thing started to unravel -hence the long silence.

Not much to report except that I have been in bed for nearly a week pretty much unable to do anything except lie flat in silence. The cough is debilitating enough to prevent much moving around - and all forms of entertainment equivalent to having a pneumatic drill in action at the end of the bed. Was hoping to make Joseph last night - tix bought months ago - the last four in the house - to see Lee Mead who we all voted for in the lead role - but had to bow out at the last minute. Luckily the kids had a great time and didn't seem too upset by my absence.

Good chat with fellow sufferer yesterday reassured me that you have to let go of some of these things - it's not the end of the world - also that the last chemo is hell on earth (she wasn't kidding) as there is some sort of accumulative effect going on....I thought I'd feel elated that this was the last one but it's more a sort of gloom at my inability to even get down the stairs. Not to mention the dread of ever having to go through this again.

In any event - things are good enough today for me to have hauled my laptop into bed and to be writing this and answering a few emails so hopefully have turned a corner.

Next week is an endless round of cancer related trips - to the Haven (hopefully) on Monday and Tuesday, then more ultrasounds, mri and dr appointments to ascertain the new position of everything before surgery - which has now been postponed to 18th December which I am relieved about. I need some recovery time - even if it does mean I'll be wobbly over Xmas.