End of chemo

I can't really believe it but tomorrow I will be having my LAST chemo. I am so completely excited to get this over with that I don't really care how I feel afterwards - I'm sure it will not be pleasant - but each day into it I will be able to say it's 'the last 3rd/4th/5th etc day after chemo' with no nukes looming. Fantastic - feel quite liberated. Surgery scheduled for 11th December - so just crossing fingers that I will be in good enough health for it to go ahead - a few concerns re the ever present chest infection - but I am praying for some relief this time around. Between now and the surgery I have to succumb to another round of mri scans, ultrasounds and meetings with the docs to get an accurate update of the state of my tumour - and I've also put in a couple of retreat days at The Haven - as well as Emily's birthday and a trip to the ballet....I shall probably spend the rest of the time in bed - plus ca change...I am getting a little behind in my scaffolding know-how...

At the last MRI scan (lying prostate, face down, arms aloft for 35 minutes, wearing enormous headphones) they insisted on playing a medley of depressing soft rock songs at top volume - 'When you are gone' 'Blood is thicker than Water' 'Nothing will ever be the Same' etc which I pointed out at the time was perhaps not the best choice of soundtrack - but it fell on deaf ears -mainly mine.

Strangely, as it is with these things, I have been much, much better over the last couple of days - so have had about 4 good days since last chemo - and am thankful for small mercies. It meant I was able to escort Luc and a few of his friends to the Build a Bear Factory in Covent Garden for his 7th birthday (something I wasn't sure I'd be able to do) and also to suffer the humiliation of a small child shouting out at the lift in Covent Garden tube 'Luc's Mum is wearing a wig!' at the top of their little voice to the amused look of 50 complete strangers. Francois felt so sorry for me he bought me a pair of luxury socks (he knows the way to a girl's heart) but it was just another reminder of how much I want some hair - and how close I am now to getting some.....

I have commented here on my eyebrows - or lack of - but to clarify things - I do have a skinny little line that ends about a centimetre too soon - and look as if I should be dancing round my handbag - but Emily put it very well when she said, 'Don't worry Mummy, it just looks as if they've been plucked...............by a blind person.'

So tomorrow I will say goodbye to my lovely chemo nurses and all the other staff at the Clinic - whose lives have brushed against mine over these last months. One step of the journey behind me - and not a moment too soon.