Yoga for beginners

Feeling very odd today - probably low white blood cells/blood pressure. Have spent most of the day in bed eating jelly dinosaurs while Francois prepares our spare room for the New Aupair...more of that later...

Anyway, I remembered that my yoga teacher, the lovely soon-to-be-published young novelist and yoga master Ruth Fowler (www.umayoga.org) taught me a strange upside down position to bring blood to the head which involves lying on my back, bum against a wall, feet in the air, balancing on my shoulders. The only problem in this house being the fact that the only clear bits of wall seem to be behind doors, so the relaxing benefits of getting myself into this uncompromising position seems to be counteracted by the fear that one of the children will charge into the room and slam the door on my head. This yoga thing is a hazardous activity. I have had two private lessons now - the aim being to become sufficiently proficient to be able to 'drop in' at the YogaHome 'drop in' which currently fills me with dread. All those limber Stokey mums who probably spend most of their time in full shoulder stands or saluting the dead dog or whatever while I just topple over. Anyway - the second lesson went far better than the first and I definitely felt some sort of benefit from all the stretching and whathaveyou. Having laid in bed almost constantly for the last week it was brilliant to actually move around a bit.

The other scary thing about a class is that it is impossible to carry out all these positions wearing my wig as it was not designed to go upside down - unless you like the sweaty loo brush look - and the miracle scarf gripper, while perfect in inclement weather, is also worse than useless faced with the upside down challenge. Being Gail Porter in my own home is one thing...but in front of aforementioned Stokey Mums with their untamed curls and chic crops is quite another.

I was completely thrilled today when my wedding ring - presumed lost for over 2 years - turned up at the back of a drawer that Francois was scrupulously emptying. I take this as a sign that my luck is swinging the other way - amazing.

The Au Pair

Having resisted the whole idea of a complete stranger living in the house ever since the kids were born (despite Francois' enthusiasm at various times), under the circumstances I felt no option but to succumb. In my view this is not an au pair friendly house - not enough space and the only decent size bedroom will now be hers - but the pros seem to outweigh the cons for once. Despite the fact that my long suffering mother will now have to sleep in Emily's room when she comes, moving Emily into Luc's room which is Emily's worst nightmare.

Also, after years of of listening to my friends horror stories including the one who announced after 10 days at my hard working single mother friend's house that she was pregnant and had 'nowhere to go' and the eastern european with a bizarre eating disorder which involved stashing food under her bed, I wasn't sure I had the mental stamina for one of my own.

Anyway having trawled through several hundred CVs, including Katarina from Moldavia who 'will not do extra hours for extra money, does not iron, but has helped out many summers on her family's pig farm and can milk a cow' (I kid you not) and Birgitta from Sweden who would like to go home during all school holidays and would only consider a house with a cat (I am allergic), we appear to have found the ideal candidate.

Benedicte is French, thus making communication extremely simple, is 23, has a masters degree in Biology and is happy to stay until June. She is also allergic to animals (superb), dyslexic (even better) and an enthusiastic young guide leader (is she making this up???) On the phone she sounds incredibly sweet and jolly and although she has admitted to being terrible at ironing she still won me over by sending me lots of pictures of her making indian headdresses with a group of muddy guides and telling me that she loves English food....She is arriving on Wednesday evening so watch this space...